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What's also quite nice is that if you sign up for their paid service, A-List, you can actually order your search results by kinkiness. So, armed with this information, you can pick and choose who you contact.
Now, there's no need to bring up that you're kinky and look like a sex pest - mention it on your profile so that they can see what you're into, and qualify it by explaining at you're not just after a play partner in the same paragraph.
The point here is that eventually, you're going to talk about sex, and that's absolutely brilliant.
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What it actually is, is a mess of fake profiles, professionals touting for business and inactive account city. On the other hand, you do want a sex life, and for kinky people in a vanilla crowd, you want to know if you're going to end up with your future Non Gender Specific Life Partner fleeing after you crack out the violet wand.
Some have had success with Collar Me - congratulations if that's the case. Other sites, like Fet Life (which is my favourite kinky social network by far), aren't really designed for meeting people. Because of this, it's often one of the first topics that kinky people dating in a mainly vanilla environment bring up - and it's one of the main reasons that they find themselves ignored or blocked by a potential match.
The key thing that makes it useful to kinky people is that its "Q&A" matching mechanic means that you can find out a lot of someone's key beliefs and opinions before you even send them a message.
I find that, having answered a load of their questions myself, people shown as a 90% match or greater are almost always kinky.
It's a little weird at first, trusting a computer algorithm to pair you off.
But three weeks (and six dates) from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. It's boring, but dating-site handles aren't eligible for the Pulitzer.
If OKCupid decides that they're kinky enough, they even get it mentioned on their personality metrics - but that said, an absence of that bar does not mean they're not a pervert.
OKCupid, like any automated system, sometimes gets it wrong.
Relax, don't overthink it, and remember that what you're putting up is the equivalent of first-date banter.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating